Poor design in a potentially dangerous situation

I was travelling back from Paris this week when just as the Eurostar train pulled out of Paris we were hit by a power failure affecting the whole area. All the trains in and out of Gare Du Nord were stranded for over 2 hours whilst we waited for the problem to be fixed.

The Eurostar staff were very helpful and friendly, but one comment really struck me as bizarre and unhelpful - but also quite funny.

The train had emergency power, presumably some sort of battery and the announcer said: "In the event that we are stuck here for a long time, it is possible the battery power will run out and the train will be in complete darkness. In this case none of the doors between carriages will operate (you pull a lever and they open automatically), but you can open them manually by pushing the black button above each door"

So that must have been a bad day in the carriage design team - "If we lose power and the train is in darkness, lets allow people to open doors by looking for a small black button black button above their heads - tee hee"

More Stupid Things

Last year I wrote about few stupid things I had seen - article is here, one specifically was about blocking fire doors. Well last weekend I was out shopping with Theresa in Bristol and we were going through large automatically revolving door out of a shopping centre. On the door it had a sign, "In case of Fire Alarm sounding this door may stop and reverse direction"

I should have taken a picture and will add one later, but obviously not the place to be if there is real fire and you are trying to escape...

Update 1/1/08 - picture added

The Mutton Girls

Was just looking through my Google Analytics for this blog - wondering how on earth I get so many visitors when I haven't written anything for ages.

Surprisingly the top keyword resulting in a visit is "mutton", unusual I thought for such a generic keyword. I did a quick Google search and found this blog listed on page 2 - that is if you use the Google toolbar search box - if you go direct to Google.co.uk and search - this blog didn't appear at all on the first 10 pages! Any suggestions as to why are welcome.

Anyway, back to the main reason for the post - just below my blog was a link which said "We're Mutton and We're Proud" - so I had to click on that and found a site dedicated to "The Mutton Girls" and their comedy sketch show "Mutton".

The show is described as:

MUTTON DRESSED UP AS LAMB

For most women, approaching the age of 50, and worse, 60, can be a daunting prospect. Women deal with this mid-life crisis in many different ways, but there are probably very few who have seized upon it as a way of opening new doors of opportunity in their lives.

Well, three 40/50 something ladies have done exactly this and written a comedy sketch show poking fun at the trials and tribulations of the menopausal years.

The result is “Mutton”, a new, unique and brilliantly funny show that will appeal to women of all ages and the men that have to live with them.


I see from their tour dates they are visiting Guildford soon, I wonder if I dare go?

Will we evolve more arms?

Doing a lot of travelling this week and worked out that we need to evolve into a next generation human with more grasping limb than just two. Why? I hear you cry, well quite simply to cope with the demands of modern security at airports - and it can only get worse.

Take today for example, flying from Oslo to Stockholm, waiting in line for security I had already deposited all metal coins, phone, etc. in my coat and pulled my laptop from my bag. As I got closer I noticed that this airport lets you put things into the little plastic trays before you actually get to the x-ray machine. So into one goes my laptop, into another goes my coat and little clear bag with essential liquids that may or may not be bi-polar explosives - who can tell just by looking at the packaging through clear plastic??

Then I get asked to remove my shoes and belt and move over to x-ray machine - so I am now trying to carry:

• Two plastic trays
  
• My shoes
  
• My belt
  
• my bag
  

Somehow I struggle across to the x-ray machine and get a angry stare from the security guy as I dump all this on the belt at the same time. He says something in Norwegian and then after my typical blank English abroad stare, he repeats "one at a time, please"

I think I will look at the cost of video conferencing, or work out how to emulate a Haggunenon

Stupid things seen recently

After the good comments I had about my rubber duck image, I have been keeping an eye out for other stupid things to snap and publish here. The first can be both be classified as:

Stupid things to do in the cause of security...

This sign was spotted on the back of a pack of batteries bought from Sainsburys. What worries me about this one is:

• It implies it is OK to remove the security device and then microwave the batteries
  
• I wonder what the cost of the security device and labour to fit it was - probably more than the batteries are worth
  
• Is anybody that stupid? (Not to readers this is a rhetorical question - I am sure somebody out there is that stupid)
  

This sign was spotted on an office building in Staines - I just hope there isn't a fire just after somebody clamps a car in front of the door - thus ensuring that nobody will be able to get out...

Are we living in a James Bond movie?

Is it just me or does the bizarre death of Alexander Litvinenko and the unfolding story of the criminal investigation into his death, make you do a double take and check you are actually watching the news and not the latest James Bond movie?

Its the combination of names:

• Alexander Litvinenko
  
• Mario Scaramella
  
• Vladimir Putin
  

and the locations:

• A Sushi Bar in Piccadilly
  
• A hotel in Mayfair
  
• London, Moscow, Nice
  

and the method of death:

• Poisoning by Polonium 210
  

It all adds up to a rather dodgy plot with a bizarre method of removing your alleged enemies, if somebody mentions a small white dog soon I wouldn't be at all surprised.

And what must the "real" professional intelligence services think? Surely there are far simpler methods of reaching the same goal?

Personally I think it was all done as some sort of bizarre bet or dare on behalf of some bored agents and its all gone horribly wrong.

Probably we'll never know the truth...

Overheard on the BBC...

Apparently last week one of the BBC News 24 presenters was talking about the North Korea nuclear test and at the end of the article was heard to say - "For more information, Press The Red Button"

Bizarre things you find in hotel vending machines...

I am in Dublin on business and spotted little yellow ducks on sale in the hotel vending machines. Euro 3.50 in case you want to know

Marketing Gone Mad!

Well I suppose that title should really be Merchandising Gone Mad. I went into my local Sainsburys yesterday to get a sandwich for lunch and had a quick wander around the non-food aisle, always looking out for a CD or DVD bargain.

Nothing to be seen in that area but my eye was inexorably drawn to a new display being put out, replacing the tired old Footie/England/World Cup stuff. I couldn't believe my eyes, it was "Kids Back to School" uniforms! I kid you not, on Tuesday 19 July, more than a whole week before the local schools actually finish this year, Sainsburys are promoting the BTS range.

WE always moan every year as Christmas seems to start even earlier, but this is just ridiculous. Can't you at least allow the kids a couple of weeks of summer before they get confronted with the prospect of returning to their studies.

I think this is a big mistake and I say "Boycott Sainsburys" - so there - that will get them worried. I am off now to send this to the BBC, I want action.