The Garden Chef

Friend of mine from work, Luke, just shared his blog with me The Garden Chef. Very interesting reading if you're a bit of a foody. I especially found this post interesting - a new type of food smoker.

p.s. Nice picture Luke!

Very Useful Software

Have you ever tried to save an SMS message from your mobile phone? Surprisingly its quite a hard thing to do, well it is for my phone Sony Ericsson K800i.

My phone allows you to save just 10 SMS messages separate from the inbox for long term storage - which is useless. Not only that, I couldn't find any way to actually download multiple messages off the phone. I want to do this as I like to keep a long term record of important SMS.

Then a friend of mine sent me a link to this site: FJ Software development and a fantastic product MyPhoneExplorer.

This is a really cool bit of software, for Sony Ericsson phones that allows you to view, sort, edit, archive and delete your SMS, as well as contacts, calendar etc.

The software is very professionally produced and is exactly what I am looking for - check it out if you have a similar phone.

The Mutton Girls

Was just looking through my Google Analytics for this blog - wondering how on earth I get so many visitors when I haven't written anything for ages.

Surprisingly the top keyword resulting in a visit is "mutton", unusual I thought for such a generic keyword. I did a quick Google search and found this blog listed on page 2 - that is if you use the Google toolbar search box - if you go direct to Google.co.uk and search - this blog didn't appear at all on the first 10 pages! Any suggestions as to why are welcome.

Anyway, back to the main reason for the post - just below my blog was a link which said "We're Mutton and We're Proud" - so I had to click on that and found a site dedicated to "The Mutton Girls" and their comedy sketch show "Mutton".

The show is described as:

MUTTON DRESSED UP AS LAMB

For most women, approaching the age of 50, and worse, 60, can be a daunting prospect. Women deal with this mid-life crisis in many different ways, but there are probably very few who have seized upon it as a way of opening new doors of opportunity in their lives.

Well, three 40/50 something ladies have done exactly this and written a comedy sketch show poking fun at the trials and tribulations of the menopausal years.

The result is “Mutton”, a new, unique and brilliantly funny show that will appeal to women of all ages and the men that have to live with them.


I see from their tour dates they are visiting Guildford soon, I wonder if I dare go?

Amazon PS3 PreOrder Fiasco

The one thing I can't stand is poor customer service - as regular readers of my blog will know, last year I wrote a lot about Talk Talk Broadband.

Well this month its Amazon in the firing line. I few months back I signed up to be notified when the PS3 console would be able to pre-order - launch date is March 23rd.

After Sony announced the final pricing recently I have been waiting for Amazon to let me know when I could order and watching with interest whilst other stores both online and in the High Street launched their offers. Finally, last Saturday, I received an email which said:

"Dear PlayStation fan,

The PlayStation 3 computer entertainment system is set to unleash a brilliant, high-definition entertainment experience when it's released in Europe on March 23. Whether you're into gaming, Blu-ray movies, music or online services, the PlayStation 3 will change your digital lifestyle. You can pre-order yours at Amazon.co.uk from February 15, during business hours (9am - 5pm GMT). We will stop taking pre-orders once we've pre-sold all the consoles Sony have allocated to us for release day. Order early to avoid disappointment! If you're not lucky enough to get hold of a PlayStation 3 in our initial pre-order window, we'll email you when we get more stock in. "

So, anticipating strong demand - as they must have emailed that message to thousands of eager gamers like me - I set my calendar to alert me at 8.45 this morning to be ready to place the order. From about 8.55 onwards, I started refreshing the product page to get the Preorder option and place one. Come 9.15, no button, so I waited some more. By 9.30 I was getting a bit cross and wondered if I had a page cache problem - so I rebooted my machine - still no button.

At 9.30, I thought I would send an email to the Amazon customer services - not really expecting a quick replay - but I fired one off anyway. I then had several friends check the site from their PCs - still no preorder button.

From about 10am, I have been going back to the page every couple of minutes and refreshing the page - still no button. Then I received an email response from Amazon - at 11.02 about 90 minutes after my email - so 10/10 for the quick reply, but 0/10 for the answer:

"Please accept our sincere apologies for any inconvenience caused.
Sony PlayStation 3 Console (60GB Premium Version) is currently not available to pre-order.

Please note that the console will become available for pre-order during UK business hours (9am to 5pm) today, and that we are unable to specify an exact time.

In the meantime, keep checking back on our site to see if Sony PlayStation 3 Console is available to pre-order."

Very similar, but subtly different from the email sent on Saturday. The big difference being that I, like many other customers, thought that the first email made it clear it would be available to order from 9.00am onwards - not at some unspecified time during the working day!

The email then goes on to refer me to the FAQ that Amazon has about the pre-order, which states:

When will I be able to pre-order my PlayStation 3 console?
From Thursday, February 15, 2007, during UK business hours (9am - 5pm GMT).

Not clear at all that it will be a some undetermined point during the day.

Overall, a poor experience and as I have more important things to do today - like work - I don't think I will be ordering my PS3 from Amazon

Will we evolve more arms?

Doing a lot of travelling this week and worked out that we need to evolve into a next generation human with more grasping limb than just two. Why? I hear you cry, well quite simply to cope with the demands of modern security at airports - and it can only get worse.

Take today for example, flying from Oslo to Stockholm, waiting in line for security I had already deposited all metal coins, phone, etc. in my coat and pulled my laptop from my bag. As I got closer I noticed that this airport lets you put things into the little plastic trays before you actually get to the x-ray machine. So into one goes my laptop, into another goes my coat and little clear bag with essential liquids that may or may not be bi-polar explosives - who can tell just by looking at the packaging through clear plastic??

Then I get asked to remove my shoes and belt and move over to x-ray machine - so I am now trying to carry:

• Two plastic trays
  
• My shoes
  
• My belt
  
• my bag
  

Somehow I struggle across to the x-ray machine and get a angry stare from the security guy as I dump all this on the belt at the same time. He says something in Norwegian and then after my typical blank English abroad stare, he repeats "one at a time, please"

I think I will look at the cost of video conferencing, or work out how to emulate a Haggunenon

So this is Christmas

Well after driving almost 1,000 miles in the past week and at least another 500 to go this next 4-5 days, here are my top 5 hates of the road:

1. Drivers that like to sit about 10 feet from your rear bumper, even when they can see there is lots of other cars in front of you and you have nowhere to go. Remedy - tap your brake long enough to put the lights on but not actually brake too hard and watch them spin out of control behind you
   
2. Drivers that decide the rules of the road don't apply to them and over take on the inside and then force their way out into your lane. Remedy - I have a small Blue LED light on my keyring - when they come out in front, I pull this out and flash it on and off near my windscreen - watch with pleasure as they pull over to the hard shoulder
   
3. Highways Agency cars done up to look like police cars - Remedy - any ideas?
   
4. Those unexplained delays when everybody slows down but you can;t see any explanation - and then everything starts moving again without any explanation. Remedy - ???
   
5. People that sit in the outside lane at 70 mph and ignore all attempts to shift out of the way as they are doing the speed limit. Remedy - unfortunately fitting cars with Hellfire missiles is illegal :(
   

This has spurred me on to write some other lists of the year - watch this space

Merry Christmas, 2007

I have not written about this at all on my blog, as it has been too personal, but I recently separated from my wife and moved out of the family home. This is not the forum to go into detail about it, but this fact will start to creep into my blog over coming posts.

For example, this is the first year that I will not be spending Christmas day with my children, Daniel and Sophie. So on the last evening that I spent with them this week, I did a mini Christmas party with, turkey, chocolate Yule log and some small presents - that's the picture above. We all had fun and I hope that they remember on Christmas day that even though I will not be with them, I love them very much and will be thinking about them. Roll on Boxing Day...

Stupid things seen recently

After the good comments I had about my rubber duck image, I have been keeping an eye out for other stupid things to snap and publish here. The first can be both be classified as:

Stupid things to do in the cause of security...

This sign was spotted on the back of a pack of batteries bought from Sainsburys. What worries me about this one is:

• It implies it is OK to remove the security device and then microwave the batteries
  
• I wonder what the cost of the security device and labour to fit it was - probably more than the batteries are worth
  
• Is anybody that stupid? (Not to readers this is a rhetorical question - I am sure somebody out there is that stupid)
  

This sign was spotted on an office building in Staines - I just hope there isn't a fire just after somebody clamps a car in front of the door - thus ensuring that nobody will be able to get out...

Are we living in a James Bond movie?

Is it just me or does the bizarre death of Alexander Litvinenko and the unfolding story of the criminal investigation into his death, make you do a double take and check you are actually watching the news and not the latest James Bond movie?

Its the combination of names:

• Alexander Litvinenko
  
• Mario Scaramella
  
• Vladimir Putin
  

and the locations:

• A Sushi Bar in Piccadilly
  
• A hotel in Mayfair
  
• London, Moscow, Nice
  

and the method of death:

• Poisoning by Polonium 210
  

It all adds up to a rather dodgy plot with a bizarre method of removing your alleged enemies, if somebody mentions a small white dog soon I wouldn't be at all surprised.

And what must the "real" professional intelligence services think? Surely there are far simpler methods of reaching the same goal?

Personally I think it was all done as some sort of bizarre bet or dare on behalf of some bored agents and its all gone horribly wrong.

Probably we'll never know the truth...

Social Networking, part 2

A few months back I wrote a blog post about Social Networks and in it I speculated that it wouldn't be long before somebody came up with some sort of aggregator, (cf Trillian for messenger) which allowed you to combine all your different bits on one site.

I received an email this week and blog comment, about the first site to do this, Spokeo.com, started by a couple of college Grads. I've not had much chance to play with it and my first thought was the interface was a bit confusing, but take a look and let me know what you think - I'll add more of my own comments, errmm, soon.

Where is Mutton?

I know I do have a few regular readers out there in the wonderful world of the Internet and several have commented that I haven't done much blogging recently. Well, its true, I have been mad busy with a combination of work and personal stuff and just not had the time, but lots of stuff has been stored up just waiting to be unleashed on the blog. Watch this space...

Overheard on the BBC...

Apparently last week one of the BBC News 24 presenters was talking about the North Korea nuclear test and at the end of the article was heard to say - "For more information, Press The Red Button"

Bizarre things you find in hotel vending machines...

I am in Dublin on business and spotted little yellow ducks on sale in the hotel vending machines. Euro 3.50 in case you want to know

I have been online for 12 years

Just recived an email and link to a blog post from a very old friend of mine, Vash. Vash was one of the first people I met on this strange thing called the internet and whilst we haven't been in regular contact for the past few years, I do have fond memories of making friends with people through a common interest, which was Science Fiction.

Specifically, we met in the newly formed Milliways discussion forum, dedicated to the works of that genius Douglas Adams. I made some good friends in that group, some of which, like Vash that I am still in contact with and some that I am not. But interestingly, I am in contact with a higher percentage of that group now thatn I think I would have been without the power of the interent, email etc. Living proof, if you need it, that the Internet is enabling things that have never been possible before.

p.s. In a totally serendipitous leap of surfing, writing this blog entry allowed me to discover this wonderful eulogy for the late Graham Chapman by John Cleese, briefly featuring at 1 minute and 23 seconds, the late and sorely missed Douglas Adams

p.p.s If anybody reads this and has a copy of the one hour documentary Hypertext, featuring Douglas Adamas and Tom Baker all about hypertext and micons and stuff like that - I would love to see it again.

p.p.p.s I found it myself on Google Video I recommned you go watch it...

Talk Talk Broadband - Fact can be stranger than fiction

Regular readers of my blog will know that I recently had a bit of a rant about Talk Talk Broadband and the appalling level of customer service received by my mum. With a bit of inside help from an old contact at Carphone Warehouse we got the situation resolved and mum has been happy, so far, with the live service.

In fact I would go so far as to say the service has been quite good - I was at Mum's recently and took the opportunity to update her PC with all those large updates that would have been tedious in the extreme to download over dial-up. Over two days I must have downloaded over 250Mb of updates and had no real problems to speak of with the connection.

Then the other day I was browsing my web stats programme - I use Google Analytics, because it's free and quite good (for free). I noticed with interest that I have been getting quite a few visitors to my site who had searched Google for phrases like "Talk Talk Broadband problem" and "Talk Talk Broadband technical help". For curiosity I put some of these phrases back into Google myself and was amazed to see that for some fo them I am the top result!

So a little experiment into SEO, I am going to try and get myself as the top match into Google for the Top 10 phrases that have already been used to get to the blog. Below is the list and the current results position which is on page 1 unless otherwise stated.

• talktalk broadband not working - current position - Top result
  
• talk talk broadband problems - current position - not in top 5 pages
  
• talk talk broadband not working - current position - Result #3
  
• talktalk broadband installation problems - current position - Result #18
  
• talk talk broadband update - current position - Result #4
  
• talktalk broadband service update - current position - Result #9
  
• broadband talk talk problems - current position - Page 2, Result #16
  
• talk talkbroadband call charges - current position - Result #12
  
• talk talk broadband instalation problems - current position - Result #14
  
• talktalk customer helpline number - current position - Page 2, Result #8
  

For anybody who has reached this page and wants help resolving their problems, you can always try reading my posts about how I solved it - most of them are on this page here

From the list above you can see quite clearly that significvant numbers of people are having problem with Talk Talk (or is that talktalk) connection problems, installation problems, service updates, helpline numbers (that could be help line number I suppose too, or even talk talk freephone technical customer service helpline number) and just overall getting the damn thing to work.

Even more staggering is that somebody bothered to go past page 5 to click on a link to me in response to the query "talk talk broadband problems" - they must have been really desperate for some sort of solution.

If I was Charles Dunstone at Carphone Warehouse, the owners of Talk Talk Broadband then I would still be very worried about the potential consumer backlash from such a poor service as reported on the BBC recently in an article entitle Battling with Broadband This article has some useful advice about how to complain about talk talk broadband, or any other broadband provider.

I will leave this for a week or so and then see how my SEO ranking has improved for these terms.

Daniel's 9th Birthday Party Pictures

It was my son Daniel's 9th Birthday last week and we had a "Make your own Pizza " party at our local Pizza Express in Staines.

Everyone hada good time and the staff were very helpful, we can definitely recommend it as a good idea for a birthday party.

We also took lots of pictures and you can see some of them on Flickr by clicking here.

StoryCode on Dragon's Den

One thing I will write quickl;y about is to let you know that one of the businesses I am involved in, StoryCode.com, was featured on Dragon's den last week. Here is the video clip which somebody kindly put on YouTube.

Regular blogging can be difficult when you are busy

I know I have a few regular readers so just wanted to let you know that I haven't fogotten this blog I have just been busy last few weeks, combination of work, kids birthdays and my mum being rushed to hospital last week.

So just for now, here is an aide memoire for the stuff I do want to write about but haven't had the time:

• More on Talk Talk Broadband
  
• A blind man who was banned from driving
  
• The NHS
  
• Public transport - specifically trains
  
• Stupid opening hours
  

So if you can be bothered, come back soon and watch out for the actual posts...

Daniel on his 9th birthday

Eating out for his 9th birthday, Daniel, Sophie, Louise and I went to the Angler`s Retreat near Laleham

Talk Talk Broadband Problem

Been meaning to write this update, but things happened fast and I was away visiting family.

Last Thursday we were contacted by Talk Talk customer services, a very helpful person called Susan. She advised that the broadband service would go live on Thursday 31/8 and the relevant documentation and equipment would be sent out soon.

As luck would have it, I was visiting Mum in Liverpool this weekend and the broadband modem arrived on Saturday morning. Only slight problem was that it was addressed to the right address but the wrong person. Fortunately, Mum's postie is a conscientious bloke and rang the bell to double-check if it was for her.

I waited until Tuesday to see if the Username and password would arrive, but no such luck. So I decided to do as much of the installation as possible before leaving, thinking it would make Mum's job easier later in the week. The installation process was relatively smooth and I think even the most technically challenged person would be able to get through it.

The only slight hiccup was a failure to install the modem drivers first time, but a second attempt worked perfectly. Then, to my surprise, the modem actually managed to connect to the broadband service and it was clear the line was active for ADSL. So I called an automated helpline to retrieve the missing username and password and with a bit of trial and error, it is all working fine.

What trial and error? Well the helpline reads out in a nice female voice the password, which is case sensitive. But it doesn't tell you which letters are upper or lower, nor did it make any attempt, perhaps through use of the phonetic alphabet, to clarify potentially confusing letters. The only problem we had was an "n" or was it an "m"? "November" or "Mike" would have made it much easier.

So 18 weeks almost to the day to get the "free" service up and running. I haven't told Mum about all the complaints online about the actual quality of the service now it is working - we'll just see how that pans out.